He came and sat by my side but I woke not. What a cursed sleep it was，
O miserable1 me！
He came when the night was still； he had his harp2 in his hands， and my
dreams became resonant3 with its melodies.
Alas4， why are my nights all thus lost？ Ah， why do I ever miss his
sight whose breath touches my sleep？
27
Light， oh where is the light？ Kindle5 it with the burning fire of
desire！
There is the lamp but never a flicker6 of a flameis such thy fate，
my heart？ Ah， death were better by far for thee！
Misery7 knocks at thy door， and her message is that thy lord is
wakeful， and he calls thee to the love-tryst8 through the darkness of
night.
The sky is overcast9 with clouds and the rain is ceaseless. I know not
what this is that stirs in meI know not its meaning.
A moment's flash of lightning drags down a deeper gloom on my sight，
and my heart gropes for the path to where the music of the night calls
me.
Light， oh where is the light！ Kindle it with the burning fire of
desire！ It thunders and the wind rushes screaming through the void.
The night is black as a black stone. Let not the hours pass by in the
dark. Kindle the lamp of love with thy life.
28
Obstinate10 are the trammels， but my heart aches when I try to break
them.
Freedom is all I want， but to hope for it I feel ashamed.
I am certain that priceless wealth is in thee， and that thou art my
best friend， but I have not the heart to sweep away the tinsel that
fills my room
The shroud11 that covers me is a shroud of dust and death； I hate it，
yet hug it in love.
My debts are large， my failures great， my shame secret and heavy； yet
when I come to ask for my good， I quake in fear lest my prayer be
granted.
29
He whom I enclose with my name is weeping in this dungeon12. I am ever
busy building this wall all around； and as this wall goes up into the
sky day by day I lose sight of my true being in its dark shadow.
I take pride in this great wall， and I plaster it with dust and sand
lest a least hole should be left in this name； and for all the care I
take I lose sight of my true being.
30
I came out alone on my way to my tryst. But who is this that follows
me in the silent dark？
I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not. He makes the
dust rise from the earth with his swagger； he adds his loud voice to
every word that I utter.
He is my own little self， my lord， he knows no shame； but I am ashamed
to come to thy door in his company.
31
Prisoner， tell me， who was it that bound you？'
`It was my master，' said the prisoner. `I thought I could outdo
everybody in the world in wealth and power， and I amassed14 in my own
treasure-hose the money due to my king. When sleep overcame me I lay
upon the bad that was for my lord， and on waking up I found I was a
prisoner in my own treasure-house.'
`Prisoner， tell me， who was it that wrought15 this unbreakable chain？'
`It was I，' said the prisoner， `who forged this chain very carefully.
I thought my invincible16 power would hold the world captive leaving me
in a freedom undisturbed. Thus night and day I worked at the chain
with huge fires and cruel hard strokes. When at last the work was done
and the links were complete and unbreakable， I found that it held me
in its grip.'
32
By all means they try to hold me secure who love me in this world. But
it is otherwise with thy love which is greater than theirs， and thou
keepest me free.
Lest I forget them they never venture to leave me alone. But day
passes by after day and thou art not seen.
If I call not thee in my prayers， if I keep not thee in my heart， thy
love for me still waits for my love.
33
When it was day they came into my house and said， `We shall only take
the smallest room here.'
They said， `We shall help you in the worship of your God and humbly17
accept only our own share in his grace'； and then they took their seat
in a corner and they sat quiet and meek18.
But in the darkness of night I find they break into my sacred shrine19，
strong and turbulent， and snatch with unholy greed the offerings from
God's altar.
34
Let only that little be left of me whereby I may name thee my all.
Let only that little be left of my will whereby I may feel thee on
every side， and come to thee in everything， and offer to thee my love
every moment.
Let only that little be left of me whereby I may never hide thee.
Let only that little of my fetters21 be left whereby I am bound with thy
will， and thy purpose is carried out in my lifeand that is the
fetter20 of thy love.
35
Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high；
Where knowledge is free；
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow
domestic walls；
Where words come out from the depth of truth；
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection；
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary22
desert sand of dead habit；
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and
action
Into that heaven of freedom， my Father， let my country awake.
36
This is my prayer to thee， my lordstrike， strike at the root of
penury23 in my heart.
Give me the strength lightly to bear my joys and sorrows.
Give me the strength to make my love fruitful in service.
Give me the strength never to disown the poor or bend my knees before
insolent24 might.
Give me the strength to raise my mind high above daily trifles.
And give me the strength to surrender my strength to thy will with
love.
37
I thought that my voyage had come to its end at the last limit of my
power，that the path before me was closed， that provisions were
exhausted25 and the time come to take shelter in a silent obscurity.
But I find that thy will knows no end in me. And when old words die
out on the tongue， new melodies break forth26 from the heart； and where
the old tracks are lost， new country is revealed with its wonders.
38
That I want thee， only theelet my heart repeat without end. All
desires that distract me， day and night， are false and empty to the
core.
As the night keeps hidden in its gloom the petition for light， even
thus in the depth of my unconsciousness rings the cry`I want thee，
only thee'.
As the storm still seeks its end in peace when it strikes against
peace with all its might， even thus my rebellion strikes against thy
love and still its cry is`I want thee， only thee'.
39
When the heart is hard and parched27 up， come upon me with a shower of
mercy.
When grace is lost from life， come with a burst of song.
When tumultuous work raises its din13 on all sides shutting me out from
beyond， come to me， my lord of silence， with thy peace and rest.
When my beggarly heart sits crouched28， shut up in a corner， break open
the door， my king， and come with the ceremony of a king.
When desire blinds the mind with delusion29 and dust， O thou holy one，
thou wakeful， come with thy light and thy thunder.
40
The rain has held back for days and days， my God， in my arid30 heart.
The horizon is fiercely nakednot the thinnest cover of a soft
cloud， not the vaguest hint of a distant cool shower.
Send thy angry storm， dark with death， if it is thy wish， and with
lashes31 of lightning startle the sky from end to end.
But call back， my lord， call back this pervading32 silent heat， still
and keen and cruel， burning the heart with dire33 despair.
Let the cloud of grace bend low from above like the tearful look of
the mother on the day of the father's wrath34.
41
Where dost thou stand behind them all， my lover， hiding thyself in the
shadows？ They push thee and pass thee by on the dusty road， taking
thee for naught35. I wait here weary hours spreading my offerings for
thee， while passers-by come and take my flowers， one by one， and my
basket is nearly empty.
The morning time is past， and the noon. In the shade of evening my
eyes are drowsy36 with sleep. Men going home glance at me and smile and
fill me with shame. I sit like a beggar maid， drawing my skirt over my
face， and when they ask me， what it is I want， I drop my eyes and
answer them not.
Oh， how， indeed， could I tell them that for thee I wait， and that thou
hast promised to come. How could I utter for shame that I keep for my
dowry this poverty. Ah， I hug this pride in the secret of my heart.
I sit on the grass and gaze upon the sky and dream of the sudden
splendour of thy comingall the lights ablaze37， golden pennons flying
over thy car， and they at the roadside standing38 agape， when they see
thee come down from thy seat to raise me from the dust， and set at thy
side this ragged39 beggar girl a-tremble with shame and pride， like a
creeper in a summer breeze.
But time glides40 on and still no sound of the wheels of thy chariot.
Many a procession passes by with noise and shouts and glamour41 of
glory. Is it only thou who wouldst stand in the shadow silent and
behind them all？ And only I who would wait and weep and wear out my
heart in vain longing42？
42
Early in the day it was whispered that we should sail in a boat， only
thou and I， and never a soul in the world would know of this our
pilgrimage to no country and to no end.
In that shoreless ocean， at thy silently listening smile my songs
would swell43 in melodies， free as waves， free from all bondage44 of
words.
Is the time not come yet？ Are there works still to do？ Lo， the evening
has come down upon the shore and in the fading light the seabirds come
flying to their nests.
Who knows when the chains will be off， and the boat， like the last
glimmer45 of sunset， vanish into the night？
43
The day was when I did not keep myself in readiness for thee； and
entering my heart unbidden even as one of the common crowd， unknown to
me， my king， thou didst press the signet of eternity46 upon many a
fleeting47 moment of my life.
And today when by chance I light upon them and see thy signature， I
find they have lain scattered48 in the dust mixed with the memory of
joys and sorrows of my trivial days forgotten.
Thou didst not turn in contempt from my childish play among dust， and
the steps that I heard in my playroom are the same that are echoing
from star to star.
44
This is my delight， thus to wait and watch at the wayside where shadow
chases light and the rain comes in the wake of the summer.
Messengers， with tidings from unknown skies， greet me and speed along
the road. My heart is glad within， and the breath of the passing
breeze is sweet.
From dawn till dusk I sit here before my door， and I know that of a
sudden the happy moment will arrive when I shall see.
In the meanwhile I smile and I sing all alone. In the meanwhile the
air is filling with the perfume of promise.
45
Have you not heard his silent steps？ He comes， comes， ever comes.
Every moment and every age， every day and every night he comes， comes，
ever comes.
Many a song have I sung in many a mood of mind， but all their notes
have always proclaimed， `He comes， comes， ever comes.'
In the fragrant49 days of sunny April through the forest path he comes，
comes， ever comes.
In the rainy gloom of July nights on the thundering chariot of clouds
he comes， comes， ever comes.
In sorrow after sorrow it is his steps that press upon my heart， and
it is the golden touch of his feet that makes my joy to shine.
46
I know not from what distant time thou art ever coming nearer to meet
me. Thy sun and stars can never keep thee hidden from me for aye.
In many a morning and eve thy footsteps have been heard and thy
messenger has come within my heart and called me in secret.
I know not only why today my life is all astir， and a feeling of
tremulous joy is passing through my heart.
It is as if the time were come to wind up my work， and I feel in the
air a faint smell of thy sweet presence.
47
The night is nearly spent waiting for him in vain. I fear lest in the
morning he suddenly come to my door when I have fallen asleep wearied
out. Oh friends， leave the way open to himforbid him not.
If the sounds of his steps does not wake me， do not try to rouse me， I
pray. I wish not to be called from my sleep by the clamorous50 choir51 of
birds， by the riot of wind at the festival of morning light. Let me
sleep undisturbed even if my lord comes of a sudden to my door.
Ah， my sleep， precious sleep， which only waits for his touch to
vanish. Ah， my closed eyes that would open their lids only to the
light of his smile when he stands before me like a dream emerging from
darkness of sleep.
Let him appear before my sight as the first of all lights and all
forms. The first thrill of joy to my awakened52 soul let it come from
his glance. And let my return to myself be immediate53 return to him.
48
The morning sea of silence broke into ripples54 of bird songs； and the
flowers were all merry by the roadside； and the wealth of gold was
scattered through the rift55 of the clouds while we busily went on our
way and paid no heed56.
We sang no glad songs nor played； we went not to the village for
barter57； we spoke58 not a word nor smiled； we lingered not on the way. We
quickened our pave more and more as the time sped by.
The sun rose to the mid59 sky and doves cooed in the shade. Withered60
leaves danced and whirled in the hot air of noon. The shepherd boy
drowsed and dreamed in the shadow of the banyan61 tree， and I laid
myself down by the water and stretched my tired limbs on the grass.
My companions laughed at me in scorn； they held their heads high and
hurried on； they never looked back nor rested； they vanished in the
distant blue haze62. They crossed many meadows and hills， and passed
through strange， far-away countries. All honour to you， heroic host of
the interminable path！ Mockery and reproach pricked63 me to rise， but
found no response in me. I gave myself up for lost in the depth of a
glad humiliationin the shadow of a dim delight.
The repose64 of the sun-embroidered green gloom slowly spread over my
heart. I forgot for what I had travelled， and I surrendered my mind
without struggle to the maze65 of shadows and songs.
At last， when I woke from my slumber66 and opened my eyes， I saw thee
standing by me， flooding my sleep with thy smile. How I had feared
that the path was long and wearisome， and the struggle to reach thee
was hard！