I keep my blood tucked in.
I won't be mortified1
by what I drive or the flaccid
vivacity2 of my last dinner party.
I take my cue from statues posing only
in their shoulder pads of snow: all January
you can see them working on their granite3 tans.
That I woke at an ungainly hour,
stripped of the merchandise that clothed me,
distilled4 to pure suchness,
means not enough to anyone for me
to confess. I do not suffer
from the excess of taste
that spells embarrassment5:
mothers who find their kids unseemly
in their condom earrings6,
girls cringing7 to think
they could be frumpish as their mothers.
Though the late nonerotic Elvis
in his studded gut8 of jumpsuit
made everybody squeamish, I admit.
Rule one: the King must not elicit9 pity.
Was the audience afraid of being tainted10
this might rub off on me
or were theysurrendering
what a femme wordfeeling
solicitousglimpsing their fragility
in his reversible purples
and unwholesome goldish chains?
At least embarrassment is not an imitation.
It's intimacy11 for beginners,
the orgasm no one cares to fake.
I almost admire it. I almost wrote despise.